The iPhone is Dead, Long Live my iPhone?

Part of me is, like, “Shit I just signed a 2-year contract with AT&T for my new iPhone!” Because as everyone knows, AT&T isn’t a real cellular network. Example: every time there’s the smallest hipster event in Dolores Park (like a warm weekend day), the ability to connect in all of the surrounding Mission District territory, my house included, suffers.

But instead of lamenting the fact that I’m stuck with them, and now there’s a better-performing network with a potential rival to iPhone that I’m barred from for at least 19 more months, I’m gonna instead focus on the possibility that a bunch of disgruntled iPhone users will exodus and free up some bandwidth back here in what is sure to become the smartphone ghetto.

In fact, AT&T, please continue with your horrible performance and customer service. I need all the disgruntled hipsters you can muster, if I’m to have a chance at satisfaction in this life.