The Manhattan-based comic ventured into the Castro District (he even got off of his bicycle!) and, in the midst of his many observations about the diversity and wonder of queer taxonomy, worried that he wasn’t good enough to be gay:
I felt like I was in Mea Shearim in Israel, where I would walk and just stare at all the people as if it were the first time I was seeing their type. In Castro, I did the same thing because everyone seemed to become super exotic and interesting…
I saw a butch lesbian with a green Mohawk wearing a leather vest. I saw a man with a handlebar mustache holding hands with a guy in a kilt. I saw a skinny little guy who walked like a girl and I wondered if he ever had trouble maintaining that act, or was it even an act? I noticed a guy that could have been a chabad Rabbi, had he not been wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt. I saw a lot of men with facial hair. Though, wait, in retrospect, maybe they weren’t even males…
No one gave me a second glance and I began to think that I was not good looking enough for these men. Maybe they could tell I was straight — even though I was wearing a dirty yellow shirt and spandex pants.
What do you think, readers? Is Heshy completely out of the running, or does he still have a shot? Here’s some video to help you decide:
